Fairytales and Pixie Dust

Fairytales and Pixie Dust 

Wouldn’t it be nice if life came with a sprinkle of pixie dust? One quick wave of a wand and—poof—our trauma, anxiety, depression, or addictions would vanish. But here’s the thing: life isn’t a fairytale. Healing doesn’t happen overnight. The real magic looks a lot less like Disney… and a lot more like showing up, doing the work, and learning to keep going when it’s hard.

As a therapist, I get a front-row seat to this magic every day. I witness courage, resilience, breakthroughs, and yes… more than a few epic eye-rolls aimed directly at me. And I’ll admit it, I’ve earned them. Because almost every day, I repeat one of my most groan-worthy lines:

“The truth is, there’s no magic wand to erase our trauma, heal our struggles with depression or anxiety, or cure our addictions, but the real magic is in the journey of recovery.”

Now, if a real magic wand existed, I’d be first in line at Hogwarts, waving it around like a kid who just got their letter. But healing doesn’t come from spells or shortcuts. It’s slower. It’s messy. It’s frustrating. But it’s also powerful. Healing is the quiet, brave act of showing up for yourself, again and again, even when you don’t feel like it.

The Power of Radical Acceptance

One of the best tools I’ve seen people use on this journey is called radical acceptance.

Don’t worry—it’s not as scary as it sounds. Radical acceptance doesn’t mean you approve of what happened. It means you stop fighting against reality. Think of it like unclenching a fist you didn’t even know you were holding. At first, it stings, but then comes relief.

Radical acceptance won’t erase pain (pain is part of being human). But it can ease the suffering that comes from constantly resisting what already is.

Fun fact: this idea comes from DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy). It was originally created to help people with Borderline Personality Disorder, but today it’s one of the most widely used tools in therapy, helping with anxiety, depression, trauma, addiction, and honestly… anyone who’s human.

A Real-Life Example

Let’s put it into everyday terms.

Picture this: you’re stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way to something important. You can honk, scream, slam the steering wheel, but the cars aren’t moving any faster. Radical acceptance is the moment you sigh, say, “Okay, I’m in traffic. This is happening.” Then you flip on your favorite playlist or call a friend. The traffic still stinks, but you’re no longer at war with it.

That’s radical acceptance: moving from “This shouldn’t be happening” to “This is happening—so how do I take care of myself through it?” It’s not easy. But when practiced, it creates space for peace, even in life’s biggest traffic jams.

Fairytales and Behavior Change

And here’s the truth: healing isn’t a fairytale. There’s no pixie dust. No instant “happily ever after.”

In our culture of instant everything, this is tough. We want quick results—whether it’s in therapy, sobriety, or even hitting the gym. But here’s what I’ve learned as a behaviorist: change takes time because reinforcement takes time.

You don’t see results the first day you work out. You don’t feel “cured” after your first therapy session. That’s why people quit after a week; the reward hasn’t kicked in yet. But if you stick with it, the reinforcement grows. Slowly, quietly, almost invisibly, until one day you look back and realize: you’ve changed. You’re stronger. You’re freer.

The Real Magic

So if you’re in the middle of doing the “work” right now, if it feels exhausting, slow, or thankless—please hear this: the absence of instant results does not mean the work isn’t working. Every small act of showing up, every brave step forward (eye-rolls included), is building something powerful inside you.

No, there’s no magic wand or pixie dust. But what you’re creating—through patience, courage, and radical acceptance—is even more magical: lasting change, real healing, and the freedom to live fully.

Wherever you are on your journey, whether it’s your first shaky step or mile 100, don’t give up. Change takes time. And while it may feel invisible in the moment, every single day you choose to keep going, you’re building a stronger, freer, more resilient version of yourself. Keep going. The magic is happening even if you can’t see it yet.